World of a Boychild

Dr Leonard Mwithiga, BSc, MBA, CISA, PhD, a former Group Shared Services Director at KCB bank, is in the headlines for ruining his own life. In his photos, we see a soft, bald-headed bewildered man who seems at a loss.His wife allegedly left for the US with his kids after falling out with him. After thinking about this situation at length, he got angry as most men suffering from oneitis often do. With dark thoughts coursing through his mind, he requested voluntary early retirement, leaving behind a cushy job that many could only dream of. Unbeknownst to many, he was a simple man with simple problems about to become a simple man with complex problems.With the serpent of revenge coiled around the branches of his mind, he traveled to Connecticut in the US where, at some point, he asked a taxi driver to get him a hitman to murder his wife. The taxi driver got the police involved and now Leonard is facing charges of conspiracy to commit murder and will probably spend a considerable time in the can. There have been rumours that money was involved, not just passion.What can we learn from his case with the limited information that we have?First guys, nothing in this world belongs to a man. I learned this maxim from Chigozie Obioma’s Orchestra of Minorities. At your highest self, you possess nothing.That woman you are obsessed about owning, you met her as an adult. If she can detach from you, why can’t you do the same? Why are you so in need of her? This is why Rich Cooper keeps reminding you that she is not yours….Give your best in everything you do but be outcome-independent.Men must learn to detach from all material things. That’s a central aspect of being stoic. You can lose everything in a flash anytime so do not hold onto things or people.Secondly, the harder you squeeze anything in your hand, the more likely it is to slip between your fingers and the less capable you are of picking something else into your hand.Letting go is a sign of wellness. Yielding is a sign of wellness.Bend. Don’t break.Do not cling to people who do not want you in their lives. Even your kids, if you have fought for them and have found no legal or reasonable way of accessing them, let go. Do not kill yourself in the process of getting them. Many men have died because of being attached to their kids.Three, there are no unicorns. There is no soul mate, there is no one special woman meant for you. Such beliefs may sound romantic when things are nice and dandy. But when things go sideways, they can become very harmful. If it doesn’t work with one woman, let her go. Try with another woman. This life is about moments. It is not about permanence. All we have are those brief periods. There are no guarantees.Four. Work on yourself. Put yourself first. This guy did not put himself first. If he did, he wouldn’t be risking jail time because of a woman. If he did, he would have been building something to his name, not seeking to destroy a woman.Five, crime does not pay. Do not commit any crimes, even as a retaliatory measure. This guy, for example, had no clue even about how to hire a hitman. He didn’t even get close. Do not resort to extraordinary measures when you are still an ordinary guy.If you have your health and your life, just be grateful and move on. You will recover from whatever temporary loss you have suffered.Six, do not involve your wife in your crimes. If you have to do things like financial fraud, do it with your co-conspirators out there. Not with your wife. All wives, given enough leverage, tend to apply them at some point. We saw this in the case of Gichurus and it’s the same reason Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos got divorced. Many men have used their side chicks as proxies and harvested premium tears. Seven, get UNPLUGGED.